"This just desn't seem to be my day"
"As for me, I got all the time in the World"

Just what do the guys do on a typical day? Let's find out
Note: Remember this is all in fun- I kid bcause I love them!

This is from 2006-07

8AMWake up and make out with hot young wife
9AM Eat
10AM Go to studio to work on “Rays” album
10:05AM Quit working on “Rays” album
11AM Go to an office supply store to buy some white out and boast to the cashier that "My mom invented this"
12PM Eat
1PMWork on “Fried Pies” book
1:05PMQuit working on “Fried Pies” book
2:30PMWork on “American Gene” book
2:35PMQuit working on “American Gene” book
5PMGo to local mall to brag to the teenagers who are hanging around that he invented MTV
5:06PMLeave the mall after a crowd of teenagers doesn't believe that the "fat man with a Texas accent” invented MTV (or that he even knows what it is)
7PMAuction off wool hat on E-Bay
7:05PMWithdraws wool hat from auction on E-Bay due to lack of interest
8PMAttends an AFI function and asked by a reporter “Who are you?”
11PMHe and the Gihon Foundation Board have the answer to the World's biggest problem: paper or plastic

9AMEarly morning swim wearing too tight bikini swimsuit
10AM Daily call to the Beavertown city hall to convince them that a Monkees Museum could become a popular attraction
10:15AM Daily prank call to Ed Begley, Jr. (May I speak to first name "Yourl" last name "Oser")
10:30AM Daily facial, massage and teeth whitening
10:45AM Opens up his refrigerator and upon seeing the bright single light bulb did a 15 minute concert
11AM Go to local country club to play a round of golf
11:10AM Shows everybody within sight endless pictures of his grandson
12:30PM Realizes after he hits his 6th ball into a sand trap that he can't play golf
1:15PM Begins to write a self-help book but realizes he is perfect and doesn't need help
1:35PM Shows everybody within sight endless pictures of his grandson
2PM Discussion on his love of horses leads to 3 hour lecture
2:15PM Shows everybody within sight endless pictures of his grandson
6PM A bookstore signing takes strange turn when the store realizes that they don't sell “Daydream Believin' "
7PM Shows everybody within sight endless pictures of his grandson
7:30PM Puts on the striped jacket he wore on his appearance for a “The Brady Bunch” episode 30 years ago just to see if it still fits
7:45PM Forgets the words to the songs in his “Oliver!” medley
8:15PM Shows his man boobs during concert
10:40PM After concert mob in the meet and greet room turns out to be the extended Jones family
11PM During an interview when asked who is his favorite TV personality he replies: “Me...if I'm in the news”
11:10AMDuring an interview, he tries to take credit for the entire Monkees phenomenon and insists Mike was never a band member just “special guest” on the TV series

10AMWake up and make out with hot young wife
11AMCalls Hair Club For Men
1PMCalls Stetson for a new cowboy hat
2PMWhile working on his latest geometric shaped painting, he realizes that all of his paintings have a sexual metaphor to them
3PMAt a session with clairvoyant John Edwards, Edwards can only make contact with the Ghost Of Christmas Past's answering service
3:02PMJohn Edwards senses the spirit of “crazy dead” Elmer but is unable to figure out how Micky can play the trumpet
3:05PMLeaves the session with John Edwards to see “The Great Oraculo: The World's Leading Mentalist” for his assistance with finding the person who told him to see clairvoyant John Edwards
5PMBrings sister Coco on tour due to lack of band members
7PMDue to lack of interest at his cruise ship appearances, he makes his own introduction
7:25PMJoke about the Monkees experience being like Leonard Nimoy really becoming a Vulcan takes ugly turn when Leonard Nimoy issues a cease and desist order
8PMWhen singing the “Monkee's Theme” in different languages someone in the audience requested it in Zulu to which he replied: “Zulu? No I usually won”
11PMAuction off concert sweat towel on E-Bay
11:05PMWithdraws concert sweat towel when the highest bid on E-Bay was one dollar

10AM Wake up
10:15AMDaily call to an employment agency to inquire about openings for any "Pete digger" jobs
10:30AM Just for fun, he decides to act like the Peter Tork dumb persona character from the TV series
11AM An interview question on his opinion of today’s artists leads to 3 hour discussion
2PM Decides to hire a look alike to answer these interview questions: “What happened to the guy with the wool hat? and Do you ever get tired of Monkeeing around?”
3PM An interview question on his opinion on what is good blues and jazz leads to 1 hour discussion
5PM At a Peter Tork/ James Lee Stanley Two Man Band concert, someone asks James: “Which Monkee were you?”
8PM During Shoe Suede Blues concert he refuses to perform any Mike Nesmith written songs because of the large royalty fee to perform them in public
10:30PM Attempts to pick up a woman with line: “If you got the time, I've got the Viagra”
10:40PM Realizes his second pick up line (“I was a Monkee, you know”) does not work after she laughs in his face
11:30PM Goes to the Village to burn it

Now Back to our story
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